I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can you bring me the toilet please
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
