Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
