dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
being pregnant is like rehab
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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