Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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