The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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