i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
