when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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