whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
