Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
