I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
