Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this just has baby written all over it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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