I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sorry about my life...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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