Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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