woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
