Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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