She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
