Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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