She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
