Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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