We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
