I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
