You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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