Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
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