Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
