There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
