I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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