Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
