As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
