please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
