Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
