the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
