Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We have started to decorate penises.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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