when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
