Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
