i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
