I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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