Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
