Need sex. Gaining weight.
You smell like stripper and shame
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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