I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
