hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Randomize
