I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
