don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ketchup is God's man juice
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
