in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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