Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
