he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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