oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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