I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
