I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
