A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
