Sponge bath it is.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
